I Can't Fix It
by ihadtoputitsomewhere
Summary: Collection of one-shots with Allison and Isaac.
1. Chapter 1

**So basically, this is what I wanted to happen between Allison and Isaac at the beginning of "Illuminated," except this time, they have been together for a bit longer, and kind of have something like an established relationship. Sorry if this is confusing, but I had to put this idea on paper before it flew out of my head.**

"Isaac!" I yelled as I pounded my fists on my bedroom door, desperately trying to get in. "Isaac, hold on, we're coming! We—we're almost in, just hold on."

Beside me, my dad had begun trying to kick the door in. I could here Isaac's screams for help just on the other side. We were so close, just a few more kicks.

Dad gave one final blow, and the door swung open, hitting the wall. Isaac was on the floor, shaking and whimpering.

"Isaac?" I cried as I ran towards him, dropping to my knees beside him. I reached out and tried to grab his shoulder, but he flinched and pulled away from my touch. I tried again, and he flinched like before but this time I could get a grip in him, steady him so that my dad could tell him what he needed to do. "He's freezing, Dad he's like ice."

"Isaac," he said gruffly. "Isaac, look at me. Isaac…"

"Dad what's happening to him?" I asked nervously.

"Isaac, come on. Isaac, listen you have to turn." Dad continued, ignoring my question completely.

"No, no, no." Isaac whimpered.

"Look at me." Dad said firmly, as he slapped Isaac's cheek, trying to kick-start the transformation. "You need to trigger it. Come on, trigger!" Dad yelled, still slapping his cheek. "Trigger! Trigger!"

Finally, Isaac's eyes glowed yellow, and the fangs emerged from his gums. He realized what was happening and quickly crawled from his spot on the floor so that his back was against my bed.

"Did you see them?" Isaac whispered, eyes darting around the room as if he was searching for something to hold onto. Something real. His eyes finally met mine and they stayed locked.

"Who?" I asked softly.

"There were five of them. They…wore black. I c—I couldn't—I couldn't see their faces they were—they were covered." He said, his voice shaking as tears ran down his face.

"What do you mean, like masks?"

"I could see his eyes they were… greenish-yellow like a—like a firefly."

I turned to my dad and put a hand on his shoulder. "Can you uh… give us a second? Please?"

He nodded once and stood up, glancing at Isaac one last time before exiting the room.

I cautiously knelt down next to him and placed a hand on his knee. He flinched, but didn't object.

"Isaac?" I whispered. "Isaac, you're okay now. You're safe." He was staring at the empty space behind me, and began shaking his head. His bottom lip quivered as he attempted to hold back tears that would inevitably spill over. I removed my hand from his knee and placed it on his cheek, which was bright red from my father's hand.

"Isaac, look at me. Hey, focus on me okay?" I said in a calm but firm voice. He finally met my gaze, his eyes wide with fear and confusion. "It's okay." I said with a weak smile. I rubbed my thumb over his cheekbone and wiped away the fallen tears.

"I c—I can't fix it." He stammered, his eyes growing impossibly wider. "Allison, you have to help me. I can't fix it. I can't fix it. If I don't fix it he'll—he's gonna hurt me again." He was almost yelling now. But then his voice broke, and he started to whisper again. "I can't—I don't want to—please. You have to—I can't do it alone. I need help. Allison, help me, please."

I nodded and took his hand in mine.

"It was so cold. They made it so cold. It felt like I was back in—" his voice broke and his bottom lip trembled again. His breathing was uneven and shaky, panicky.

I squeezed his hand. "Isaac, it's okay. You're safe now. I'm not going to hurt you. No one is going to hurt you. I wont let that happen. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever. You're safe, Isaac. Here, with me, you're safe."

His eyes were locked on mine, filled with pain and fear. I just wanted to make it all go away. I needed him to know that no matter what happens, I've got him. And he's got me. Before I could say anything else, his arms were wrapped around me and he was pulling me in for a hug. I hugged back, tight. He pressed his head against my neck and buried himself there. I felt his tears running down my collarbone, but I didn't mind. It was a beautiful thing to see, the guy who was always "on", who always seemed like he knew what he was doing, was finally letting go. Right here, with me on my bedroom floor. Isaac was letting go. This was good, he needed to do this.

I traced circles on his back with my fingertips, and I felt him shudder at the touch and then sigh in relief. He probably hadn't been touched this gently in a really long time. I threaded my fingers through his curls, which were damp with cold sweat and plastered to his neck. He let out a low, almost inaudible moan. Not in a sexual way, just relief that he could finally let his guard down and just be himself. No mask, no false confidence, just raw emotion. In this moment, he was purely Isaac Lahey. Nothing more. Nothing less.

"Thank you." Isaac whispered into my shoulder. "I don't know what—I just—I couldn't—"

"Shhh, it's okay. I understand. You don't have to explain yourself. Not to me, anyway."

He pulled away and I kept my gaze fixed on our hand, intertwined and resting on my knee.

"Allison?" He half-whispered, half-spoke. I looked up and met his gaze.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

"You already said that." I said, smiling.

"I know, but I just…need you to know. Thank you."

"I've got you, Isaac. I'm here. And I'm not going anywhere. Unless you want me to."

He quickly shook his head. "I don't. I want you to stay with me."

"Okay. Good."

"Good." He nodded, the smallest hint of a smile playing across his lips.


	2. Chapter 2

He has gotten good at it, hiding the pain. Isaac didn't do that, he didn't…tell people. He didn't let others in. Instead, Isaac chose to bury his pain and let it hurt him and not the people around him. That's what Isaac did. He buried the pain and the fear, refusing to let anyone uncover his true identity.

But that's not what he did when he was with me. When he was with me, he uncovered the pain. He uncovered the hurt. And he showed me what he had been hiding behind closed doors for so long.

This wasn't a gentle process. It was hard for him, to let people in and to show them what he was afraid of. As hard as it was for me to watch it happen, it was ten times harder for him to make it happen. Some days, he builds a wall around himself so high he can't even see over the top. Other days, he lets it crumble. He lets me take it apart, brick by brick. I remember he came to me after school one day and told me he needed to tell me something. He took me to an empty classroom and tried to just straight up tell me what was going on. He ended up having a really bad panic attack, and we sat in that empty classroom until it got dark, just talking. He told me about his father, and about his brother. He told me about his mother, who bailed on them when Isaac was 12. He told me that he didn't know what to do, that he thought becoming a werewolf would help him stand up to his abusive father and that it only made him scared of hurting him.

That was the worst part. Isaac thought it was his fault, that he was the bad guy. It took me a really long time to convince him that what his father was doing to him was not his fault. Isaac loved his dad, despite all the terrible things he had done to Isaac. That was a long time ago, however, and now Isaac's father is dead.

It was Sunday night, and it was cold and pouring rain outside. I was in the kitchen making a cup of tea when I heard someone knock on the door. I looked over at the clock on the microwave. It read 12:48am. Tea in hand, I went to go see who it was. I opened the door, revealing Isaac, soaking wet and shaking. His golden curls were plastered to his forehead, and his lips were almost as blue as his eyes. His leather jacket was heavy with rainwater on his broad shoulders, and his white t-shirt was see-through against his pale skin.

"I di—didn't know wh—where else to go. I'm s—sorry." Isaac stuttered through chattering teeth.

"It's okay. Come in, you look like you're about to freeze to death." I said, gesturing inside the apartment. Isaac took a few steps forward before his legs seemed to give out and fell to the ground. "Isaac?" I gasped, kneeling down beside him. I cradled his head on my knees and waited until he regained his sense of reality. "Isaac, what's wrong? Are—are you hurt?"

His eyes locked with mine, the crystal clear blue color was mesmerizing. "I'm… I'm fine, sorry." He mumbled. Isaac tried to stand and wobbled slightly, clutching onto me for support. I guided him to the bathroom next to my room. His skin was ice against mine; I could feel each individual goose bump. I closed the toilet lid, sat him on top of it and knelt down in front of him.

"Isaac, I'm going to put you in the shower. It's nice and warm; I think you'll feel a lot better once you're in there. Is that okay?" I asked softly. He closed his eyes and nodded. I began to peel off his still-soaked clothes, starting with his shoes and socks. He pulled off his shirt, revealing his damp skin, so cold and pale it was almost purple. I unhooked his belt and slid his jeans down to his ankles. He removed his feet one by one, carefully and slowly. I stood up to turn on the shower, holding my hand under the water until it was just short of uncomfortably hot. When I turned to face Isaac again, he was staring at his hands.

"Isaac?" I asked, taking a step towards him. I looked down at his hands. They were trembling. It almost looked fake, like he was doing it on purpose.

"I can't make them stop." He whispered. He looked up at me, "how do I make them stop?" His voice had such an innocent demeanor; my eyes welled up with tears. I blinked them away and took his hands in mine. He flinched when our hands made contact, but then calmed. Steam swirled around the small bathroom. It fogged up the mirror and stuck to our skin. The air was hot. We smelled like rain.

"Isaac, you're freezing. Once you get in the shower, you'll feel better. I promise. Come on, let's get you warm. Okay?" I said softly, rubbing my thumbs across the backs of his hands.

"Can you—I mean if it's—will you help me?" Isaac asked timidly.

"Okay." I whispered, nodding. "Of course." I took a few steps back and began undressing.

Isaac turned to face the other way, "Sorry." He said.

"It's okay, Isaac. I don't care." I said, laughing slightly.

I pulled back the shower curtain and stepped in. "Come on." I said softly, offering my hand to hold him steady.

Once Isaac was in, I turned to face him. His head was bowed and his eyes were closed, making his blonde eyelashes, as well as the dark purple smudges show more prominently. Tears slid down silently from the corners of his eyes. I picked up a loofah and a bottle of body wash. It smelled like pine, like the forest. Like Isaac. That's probably the only reason I had bought this brand in the first place, because it smelled like him.

I squeezed a generous amount onto the loofah and stepped forward, tentatively running it down his right arm. He flinched but didn't protest or pull away, a silent prompt for me to continue on.

I went over every centimeter of him gently but thoroughly. He was still silently letting tears fall from his eyes, the droplets hitting me steadily. I relished them, not because Isaac was in pain but because he was letting go, he actually trusted me enough to let go just for a little while. Rising up from his feet, I cupped his chin and he opened his eyes. Raw pain, pleading, trust, appreciation…I felt dizzy.

"I'm here." I whispered to Isaac. "I'm here. I'm not going to hurt you. I'm not going to let anyone hurt you. I'm here for you Isaac."

He nodded and sniffed. The scent of the soap I had lathered on him finally registered. "Smells like home." He said quietly.

I smiled. "Yeah…it does."

As I began to walk him backward toward the showerhead, he gripped my hand and held it tight. I looked up at him, "I won't hurt you, Isaac. You're safe." He pursed his lips and let out a shaky breath through his nose. Slowly, we walked into the showerhead's line of fire. When the warm water hit him, Isaac's eyes rolled back in his head. His head fell back in relief and his lips parted. He made it seem like the best thing in the world. A shiver ran through him, forcing out a shaky breath.

He let the water run down his shoulders and torso, the droplets running all the way down to his toes. His body was dotted with tiny water droplets, which shone in the artificial lighting of my bathroom. I studied his face, noticing things I had never noticed before. I finally saw him; like really saw all the little things that made Isaac who he is. Like the way his lips part when he's relaxed, or the way his eyebrows furrow when he was concentrating, or how he clenched his jaw, crossed his arms, and stared at his feet when he was scared or anxious. My eyes traced the outline of his upper body, as if trying to memorize its' shape.

When the soap had left his body completely, I leaned forward and cut the water off. I pulled back the curtain and stepped out of the shower, Isaac following. I grabbed two big, white, fluffy towels from the shelves where we kept them and handed one to Isaac.

"Thanks." He said quietly.

"I'll be right back, I'm going to go find some clothes." I told him. He nodded.

I returned wearing Nike shorts and an old Ramones t-shirt.

"Here," I said, handing Isaac a pair of grey sweatpants and a red t-shirt that said _Professional Napper_ on it. "They're my dad's, but he doesn't really wear them anymore." He stepped into the sweats and threw the shirt over his damp curls. I walked over to my bed and sat down, gesturing for Isaac to join me.

"You okay?" I asked gently. He nodded…a little to quickly. "Isaac?"

He fidgeted with his hands. I looked down at them to see that they were shaking. I reached out and placed my hands over his, trying to steady them. "Do you want to tell me what happened? Why you were outside in the pouring rain?"

He gripped my hands tightly. It was just short of painful, but I just let it be. I shifted closer to him, our knees touching. "Isaac." I said softly. "Tell me. It's alright."

"I, uh…had a nightmare about…about my dad. I couldn't tell D-Derek about it, and… I don't know…I just started walking and then it started raining. But I…I couldn't go back to the loft, I didn't know where I was or how to get back so I kept walking and…ended up here." Isaac looked at me, his eyes searching my face for some spark of anger, of disappointment. He found neither one. I reached up and entangled my fingers in the curls on the back of his head.

"I'm glad you came here." I said with a smile. I slowly ran my fingertips along his scalp, drawing lazy circles.

"You—you are?" he stammered.

"Mmm-hmm."

"Why?"

"I want to take care of you, Isaac. I want you to know that no matter what happens, whether it be a nightmare or a reality, I'm here. You can always come find me."

Isaac grinned. His eyes, however, were filled with exhaustion. "When is the last time you got some rest?" I asked him.

"I don't remember, to be completely honest with you." He rubbed his eyes and scratched the back of his neck.

"Lay down." I told him. He stared at me, mouth open. "Come on. You're exhausted. You need sleep. You need it now. Lay down." I pulled back the covers and slid underneath them, Isaac doing the same. He shifted closer to me and buried his head in my neck, his golden curls tickling my chin and cheeks. I stroked his hair and drew shapes on his neck, listening to the sound of his breathing. I subconsciously matched mine to his, our heartbeats seemingly synchronized.

"Allison?" he mumbled sleepily.

"Mmm?"

"I think I love you."

I smiled in the darkness, "I think I love you too. Now get some rest."

"'Kay."

And with that, sleep overtook us both. For the time being, we were safe in each other's arms.


End file.
